Pigeon​-​holed

from by Harvey Andrews

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A tongue in cheek riposte to all those who follow fashion rather than their heart and their heritage, and those who insist on labelling us and consigning us to a pigeon-hole. Daniel O'Donnell - fine singer of popular ballads; Vin Garbutt and Eric Bogle - fine singers and writers in the folk idiom.

lyrics

I saw him at my local folk club
With his brand new Martin guitar
Pony-tailed hair, and a challenging stare
That told me he'd like to go far
He hammered out songs in E Minor
Broke many a pick and a string
Till someone requested a song tried and tested
That everyone else could sing
And he said

It's too Daniel O'Donnell
Too Daniel O'Donnell for me
If I sing Daniel O'Donnell
I'll lose credibility
I can sing Garbutt or Bogle
Or songs of the life at sea
But if I sing Daniel O'Donnell
I'll never get paid my fee

For years he did all the floor spots
But hardly a penny he made
He was always out looking for that special booking
That told him he'd made the grade
He tried the cittern and bodhrán
Then he took to the didgeridoo
'Till one night playing celtoid, someone, very annoyed Actually said: please leave our stage, you're through, your celtoid is

Too Daniel O'Donnell
Too Daniel O'Donnell for me
If you sing Daniel O'Donnell
You'll lose credibility
You can sing Garbutt or Bogle
Or songs of the life at sea
But if you sing Daniel O'Donnell
You'll never get paid your fee

And then just yesterday evening
At a western night in a bar
With his shiny gelled hair and his new rhinestone glare
I saw our old folkie star
He flat-picked his songs in g major
And introduced each of his band
Till someone interested, went up and requested:
Please, can you sing No Man's Land"
But he said:

It's too Garbutt or Bogle
Too Garbutt or Bogle for me
If I sing Garbutt or Bogle
I'll lose credibility
I can sing Daniel O'Donnell
Ever so tunefully
But if I sing Garbutt or Bogle
I'll never get paid my fee
No, if I sing Garbutt or Bogle
It could just be the death of me

credits

from The Gift, released January 1, 2001

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Harvey Andrews Shropshire, UK

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